What is Play Therapy? A Parent’s Guide to How it Works and Why it Helps Children

Nov 14

As a play therapist, I often hear caregivers ask, ‘So you just play the whole time?’ While the literal answer is yes, there’s so much more happening inside a play therapy room.

Why Play?

As adults, we have the vocabulary and ability to think abstractly, which allows us to communicate our inner experiences with one another. Children, however, don’t yet have that ability. That doesn’t mean they can’t express their inner experiences, it means they do that differently, and the way they do it is through play. Through play, children can express difficult thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, experience and process negative emotions in a safe environment, and develop important skills such as problem-solving and emotional regulation.

What is Play Therapy?

While there are a multitude of play therapy models, the model I prefer (and the most thoroughly researched play-therapy model) is Child-Centered Play Therapy. Child-Centered Play Therapy (CCPT) can help with both externalizing behaviors, such as aggression or conduct issues, and internalizing challenges, such as depression, anxiety, withdrawal, or ADHD. CCPT trusts that children are capable of positive and healthy growth in the proper conditions and allows the child to direct the play session in almost any way they desire. It focuses on the life of a child through the relationship between the child and the therapist. Through this supportive relationship, CCPT helps children develop healthier ways of understanding themselves and relating to others.

How is Play Therapy Helpful?

Play therapy is most commonly used with children ages 3 through 12 years old. Play therapy is effective with children experiencing a wide variety of behavioral, emotional, social, and learning problems, as well as children who have experienced life stressors such as chronic illness, death, divorce, physical abuse, or natural disasters, among other things. Play therapy helps children:

Take responsibility for their behaviors
Develop new solutions to problems
Build respect and acceptance for themselves and others
Learn to experience and express emotions
Foster empathy for others’ thoughts and feelings
Strengthen social and relationship skills
Develop self-efficacy and confidence in their abilities

How is Play Therapy Different from Play at Home?

While a child has a lot of freedom in a play therapy room, there are four skills a child-centered play therapist uses in a session that are different from traditional play at home. The four skills of CCPT are structure, empathetic/reflective listening, child-centered imaginary play, and limit setting. Below is a brief description of each skill:

Structure

Structure helps the child feel safe and understand what to expect during the session.

The therapist opens and closes each session by setting expectations and encouraging engagement.
Key phrases are used to signal the start of the session.
The therapist provides five-minute and one-minute warnings before the end of the session.
Children are not asked to clean up afterward, as this could communicate that their world — the one they’ve built in play — is being taken away.

Empathic/Reflective Listening

This is the primary way the therapist communicates understanding, acceptance, and attunement.

The therapist summarizes and reflects the child’s verbal expressions during play.
They describe the child’s behaviors and acknowledge the emotions behind them.
Nonverbal cues are observed and used to understand how the child is feeling.
The therapist avoids asking questions, giving advice, offering help (unless requested), or using praise or criticism.
Phrases such as “You’re trying to figure out…” or “You can pick something for me” are used when the child asks questions.
Emotion-labeling phrases such as “Sounds like you’re happy about that” or “You’re really frustrated right now” help the child recognize and name their feelings.
This consistent empathy and reflection build trust and validation.

Child-Centered Imaginary Play

This skill is used when the child invites the therapist to take on a role in imaginative play.

The therapist only joins the play when invited by the child.
The therapist always accepts the assigned role and follows the child’s direction.
If the therapist’s performance doesn’t match the child’s vision, the child is free to correct them — and the therapist adjusts accordingly.
(For example, if the therapist is playing a dog and the child asks them to “moo” instead of “bark,” the therapist follows the child’s lead.)
This process empowers the child, reinforces their sense of control, and deepens the therapeutic relationship.

Limit Setting

Limit setting ensures safety while allowing the child to take responsibility for their actions.

Limits are kept to a minimum and are implemented only when safety (of the child, therapist, or playroom) is at risk.
The therapist states the limit clearly the first time.
If the behavior continues, the therapist reminds the child of the limit and gives a warning, including a consequence.
If it happens a third time, the therapist restates the limit and enforces the consequence.
This consistent structure helps children understand boundaries, develop self-control, and take ownership of their choices.

In a play session, the therapist is also looking for different play therapy themes that give insight both into what stage of therapy the child is in but also what is going on in their life and what they are processing through play.

Play therapy offers a space that truly belongs to the child. In this space, they can build their own world and invite a safe, trusted adult into it. Through play, they process experiences in their own time and in the way they know best. Whether the challenge is something as small as changing schools or as significant as losing a parent, play therapy helps children recognize and work through their emotions, fostering growth into more emotionally aware and resilient individuals.

Source: Association for Play Therapy. (n.d.). Play therapy makes a difference. Association for Play Therapy.https://www.a4pt.org/page/PTMakesADifference/Play-Therapy-Makes-a-Difference.htm